Geezers

I know its really bad to say, since its not their fault they are extremely aged, but I can't stand old people. I don't know if its because they are old or because of when they grew up, but ninety percent of the people over 70 that I have met make me extremely uncomfortable. They all smell weird and have weird voices. And old men all have huge ears, which are usually covered with hair thicker than that which is on their head. They like to wear striped button ups with short sleeves, which doesn't bother me too much when younger people do it, but old men have such crusty little arms with the flappy skin and the long, sparse arm hairs.

I'm not patient enough to stand there and listen to them, even if I really want to. People will tell me "He's the coolest old guy ever. Listen to his stories!" and I will really want to, because I really want to like an old person. There are people over 70 in my family, but some of them don't seem old. They aren't all decrepit and creepy. Well, some of them are, and though they are family, I still feel overwhelming discomfort when they try to talk to me.

And old people and their driving! My friends from home would tell me how they were late to things because they got stuck behind a grandma or grandpa in a no passing zone, but I have had limited experience with this breed of geezer. Instead, I always seem to be surrounded by the grannies driving around who couldn't possibly be any taller that 3 feet. They come zooming around corners everywhere I look and don't even look around them. These are the same old ladies who refuse to use their turn signal, so when they aren't racing around corners, they are weaving through lanes of traffic. How can they drive so fast when they talk so slow? It appears that they are incapable of monitoring their speed at either extreme.

Oh old people, how I wish I could like them.