Me Blogging? What?

I've never been much for journaling of blogging or even attempting to put my feeling into words, but for some reason I've had the idea of blogging thrown in my face lately, so here goes.

I suppose I'll start by giving a vague idea of my life right now. I'm a freshman at a small Christian college in Indiana and am surrounded by constant conversation about faith and sacrifice, which is nice, but I am not at all used to it. I have a hard time finding a happy medium with sharing about myself. I feel like people are always expecting me to opening tell them what makes me who I am, because so many people here have little issue with being open about their past and their faith.

I am not sturdy in my faith and I have much left to learn, so I tend to hold my tongue and count on people to ask oddly specific questions so I can't deny anything. I'm not one of those people who spills everything when someone asks me if I am okay if if I had a bad day.

One thing that I am very eager to get over, therefore more likely to ask for insight about, is that I get a feeling from all angles that people are disappointed in who I am. If I am not being loud, I'm being mean or seem depressed. Then, if I am joking and laughing, I want to be the center of attention. In any case, I worry that people are constantly judging me, awaiting my next character flaw. I have no intention of throwing myself a pity party about the matter, but I am not hiding the fact that I am confused with who I am, who I am supposed to be, and who people think I am.

Those are my thought for today. Kind of an abrupt end, but I'm not in a journaling mood anymore.